Ode To Joy - Big Rocks First

A few months ago I was feeling very stressed. I had way too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I was so overwhelmed one day that I just sat down and wondered what I was going to do. Then I remembered a story I had heard once. I immediately got on the computer and googled it. I found the story told by Stephen R. Covey. Here it is:

In the book “First Things First” he describes a story that one of his associates experienced on a seminar. In the middle of the lecture the presenter pulled out a wide-mouth jar and placed it on the table, next to some fist-sized rocks.

After filling the jar to the top with rocks he asked, “Is the jar full?”
People could see that no more rocks would fit, so they replied, “Yes!”

“Not so fast,” he cautioned. He then got some gravel from under the table and added it to the jar, filling the spaces between the rocks. Again, he asked, “Is the jar full?”
This time the students replied “Probably not.”

The presenter then reached for a bucket of sand below the table, and dumped it in the jar, filling the spaces between the rocks and the gravel. Once again he asked “Is the jar full?”
“No!”, the students shouted.

Finally, he grabbed a pitcher of water and filled the jar completely, asking to the public what they could learn from that illustration.

One of the participants answered, “If you work at it, you can always fit more into your life.”

“No,” said the presenter. “The point is, if I hadn't put the big rocks in first. . . I would never have gotten them in.”

This story really helped me when I read it. I was trying to do too many little things. I wasn't making sure my "Big Rocks" made it into the jar first. I remembered this story today, as I was thinking about the new year that will begin in just a few days. I need to sit down and make a list of my big rocks. The things that are the most important to me. I need to schedule my time so that I make sure I get all those things in first, before all the little filler things that sometimes seem to dominate my life. Some of those things are my husband, my children, personal prayer, personal scripture study, temple attendance.

As the new year approaches, take a few minutes to write down your "Big Rocks" and make a plan for your life so that you can make sure they find their way into your jar.

Ode To Joy (I haven't done one of these in a while) - Enjoy The Life You Have

So it is almost 10:00 in the morning. Everyone in my house is still in their PJ's. Addison is upstairs crying for me to come get her. I can hear one of the kids banging on the floor right above me. My sister and her family are in town from far far away and they are going to the children's museum today and invited us to go. The thought of getting in my car and driving downtown and parking and then going to sit in a room with 100 wild children is very unappealing to me, but I feel guilty because I would like to spend time with them. My house is mostly cleaned up from our Christmas disaster but there is still a lot that needs to be done and I am expecting a surprise visitor some time in the next few hours. I just asked Zac to get Addison and play with her. He just got out of the bath and got dressed in clean clothes. But the clothes he got dressed in are pajamas. I am stressing out because I said I was going to put my house up for sale right after the first of the year and that is only a week away and I still have an unbelievable amount of work to do before that can happen. We are about to run out of milk and bread so I am going to have to go to the store sometime today. And really right now all I want to do is go get back in my nice comfy bed and stay there for the rest of the day. Just one day off. That is all I want. Just one day to not HAVE to do anything.


So I just went back and read what I just wrote and my goodness! I sound so ungrateful. Oh poor baby, I have such a hard life. I am sure there are plenty of people who wish they had my to do list. I really want to delete the above writing, but I am going to leave it. Because most of you reading this are stay at home mom's like myself and I am sure you feel the same way sometimes. But when you really stand back and look at the big picture, when you think about all the people in the world who struggle everyday of their lives just to have food to feed their children, well....being able to go to the store to buy bread and milk shouldn't be such a burden to me. I am glad I have kids healthy enough to bang on the floor incessantly. I am thankful I have a nice warm safe house to clean. I am thankful it is an option for me to take my kids and go do something fun. Some people don't have that option.

Ok, I feel better. I am all ready to go and do the things that need to be done. I just might get ready and go enjoy my life today.....

Ode To Joy #8 - Lead The Women Of The World

One of the quotes from the book "I Am A Mother" that stuck out in my mind the most is this one:


"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a full-blown blitz on women. I would keep them so distraught and distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity for which their gender has always been known." -Patricia Holland

"This tactic seems to be working, doesn't it? Many times the still, small voice must compete with the frenzied cries that claim we can have everything- and have it all, now. Today's culture is very much about instant rewards, measurables, if you will, and immediate gratification." -Jane Clayson Johnson



This quote made me really stop and think. How full do I pack my life? I am constantly running from one thing to the next. I don't leave any breathing room. If you look at my calendar it is full everyday. You couldn't fit one more thing in if you tried. Why? I don't know. That is something I have to figure out.



I really think Satan has issued a full-blown blitz on women. Just look at how women are portrayed in our society today. They are degraded, portrayed as mere objects. And sometimes it is easy to get caught up in it all. When you are bombarded on every side by images of women who are picture perfect, surgically enhanced, air brushed, with a sprayed on tan, anorexically thin, scantily clad....well that eventually starts to have an effect on you. Whoever you are.



As women living in the world today, we need constantly to be on guard. We need to slow down and not be so frazzled. I had never thought of that as being one of Satan's tools before. But it makes sense.



This is another quote from the book :

"It is not for you to be led by the women of the world; it is for you to lead the...women of the world, in everything that is praise-worthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and that is purifying to the children of men."

-Joseph F. Smith



What a great call to women today. What a huge challenge for women today. What an important lesson for the women of tomorrow. The daughters we are raising today. What a great example we can be to them as righteous women and mothers in a world that has declared war on women and all that makes them sacred.

Ode To Joy #7 - In Word AND In Deed

Duh! Now I finally get it. Have you ever heard something your whole life and you think you understood it perfectly and then you get a new perspective on it and you find out you really understood nothing at all? That happened to me today in Sunday School. Our lesson was "Teaching Children Through Example And Instruction". I have heard all my life that you teach through example. I pray daily that I will be a good example to my children. And I thought I was a good example for them (in most things). But I realized today that I was over generalizing that statement to "teaching by example". I don't use bad language or watch movies that are not appropriate, I don't drink or smoke or do any of those things. But when I was thinking in class today about the things that my children do that are a problem, the things that they do that make me mad, the things that they do that I am trying to teach them not to do-those things are things they do by following my example. My BAD example. For instance-it drives me crazy that my girls cannot put their clothes away. Nice dresses thrown on the floor after church, dirty clothes that never make it in the dirty clothes hamper, shoes never put away, clothes that they put on and then decide not to wear so they discard them on the floor. This is a constant battle in our home. Well guess what??? I do the EXACT same thing! Of course I have a good excuse. I am way too busy to deal with things like hanging my dress up after church because I have a crying baby that needs to be fed and I have to make lunch for the other 3 kids. I have a chair with a nice big footstool in my bedroom. That footstool is almost always covered with discarded clothing. But I am too busy to deal with it right now and I will be the one who puts things away later so it is ok if I leave it out until I have more time. How can I expect my children to do anything different when that is the example they have placed before them? DUH! After all these years I finally get it. Be an example- not just in general terms, but in very practical, everyday situations.

Ode To Joy #6 - Three Things

In church about a month ago the speaker was talking about ways to have joy in your life. He was reading about some type of study that was done that determined the things that give people lasting happiness. Naturally money they found out did not bring long term happiness or joy. They listed all the things that did however I don't remember them all. The one I do remember is the #1 thing they said that brings lasting happiness in your life which is writing down 3 things each day that you are thankful for or that made you happy that day. That really made me think. There was a time in my life, many many moons ago, when I would sit down at the end of the day and write in my "Happiness Journal" all the things that made me happy that day. And I remembered the feelings that I would get as I took a moment to reflect on the day gone by and really look for small things that had happened that day that made me happy. Some days were easier than others and I could list a whole slew of things. Other days I really had to search and think hard to find things to write. But you know what, I could always find something. And what it made me realize is that there are so many MANY small things that occur in our day to day hum drum lives that can bring us joy if we just watch for them. If we aren't watching they just pass us by and we go on about our business and never even take the time to notice or appreciate them. And the more we are looking for the simple small good things in our lives, the more simple small good things we will realize we have that we had never even appreciated before because we didn't recognize them. Steve and I have always had a tradition in our home for meal time where we go around the table and have each person tell the best thing that happened to them that day and the worst thing that happened to them that day. This gives us an insight to what is going on in the lives of our children and helps them to talk to us about things that they might not otherwise bring up. Since we heard that talk in church though, we have changed things up a bit. Now we go around the table and have everyone tell 3 good things about their day. It makes a difference when you are focused on the positive. What I have realized is that the more you do this exercise, the more you pay attention all day to the good things that happen and the more time you spend looking for the good things, the more good things there are. And the more good there is, the less bad. It is the law of attraction. But hey, lets not get into that right now. That is a whole other Ode in and of itself. So go out today and take the time to look for all the good around you, I think you might be surprised.

Ode To Joy #5 - I Am Doing God's Work

Steve and I go to the "Marriage And Family Relations" Sunday School class. Today our lesson was about the Sacred Roles of Mothers. In the class we read a quote from Elder Jeffery R. Holland. There are some things that really stuck out in my mind. He is talking about a mother who was discouraged. Here is the quote:

“But one thing, she said, keeps her going: ‘Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.
“ ‘It is this realization,’ she says, ‘that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious,’ she said, ‘and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,’ she concludes. ‘It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense’ "

Wow. That really puts a different perspective on motherhood. To look at it as a partnership with my Heavenly Father. What kind of partner am I??? Scary question. I really like that last half of the quote that says that if I can be right before my Father in Heaven and go to Him for His help in raising my children he can give unimpeded guidance to my children. Again, wow! I guess I have a lot to think about today....

Ode To Joy #4 - The Voice Of Heaven

A few weeks ago our Sunday School teacher passed out quotes to our class to read. I don't think it was by accident that I got the quote I did. Here it is:

"We seldom get into trouble when we speak softly. It is only when we raise our voices that the sparks fly and tiny molehills become great mountains of contention...The voice of Heaven is a still small voice; likewise, the voice of domestic peace is a quiet voice." -Gordon B. Hinckley

I have to admit, I have a problem with yelling at my children and it is something that I have tried to work on for a long time. I always use the excuse that my children don't listen to me unless I yell. And it is true. I could ask them very nicely and sweetly to go clean their rooms 20 times and they don't even know I am talking to them. In fact they act like they don't even know I am in the room. But when I finally get mad and yell, "GO CLEAN YOUR ROOMS NOW!!!" They jump up and go clean their rooms. Or at least they jump up and go into their rooms. So over the years the time between my asking nicely and then reverting to yelling has become progressively shorter. I feel like I am yelling all the time and that that is the only way I can be heard. But I hate yelling and I don't want to be the crazy yelling mother that all the neighbors look at with raised eyebrows. I don't want my kids to grow up and have memories of their childhood filled with their mother yelling at them all the time. So after I read this quote in Sunday School I really was determined to stop yelling. It isn't easy and I was at a loss until I talked to my friend Betsy who was going through the same struggle I was, for the very same reason. She said she started taking her child's face in her hands and very firmly, but nice and calm, says, "I want you to go clean your room now, please." And that way she knows the child is listening to her and knows that she means business and that they need to obey. I have been trying it for a couple of weeks now and it actually works! No yelling, imagine that. It doesn't work 100% of the time but it probably works about 95% of the time and that is much better than before. It is nice to not have to yell all the time to be heard and obeyed. However life is not perfect and neither am I and I got really angry with my children last night and yelled at them for the first time in a while. I felt really bad after and that is why I chose this as my ode for today. I felt I needed a little reminder. I love this quote from our prophet and I really would like for my house to be peaceful and a little bit of Heaven on earth.

Ode To Joy #3 - Leave Something Good

A while back my sister Farrah put some quotes on her blog. I love them all but there is one that really stuck out in my mind and that I printed out and read often. Here it is:

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good." -Author Unknown

We only have one life and that life is made up of days and those days are made up of hours which are made up of minutes. I love every part of this quote because it says so many things. We are given each new day to do whatever we want with it. We don't know how many days our lives will be made up of, and each day that we live is another day of our life gone by and we can never get it back. And it is true that we leave something behind each and every day. It is our choice what we leave behind. I would hate to look back on my life and see waste or hate or sadness or ingratitude behind me. I want to leave something good behind in the place of each and every day of my life so that when I look back, I can look back with no regrets, no sadness, nothing wanting. I want to look back and see joy and love and fulfillment and a life lived to its fullest. So go out to day and make it something great. You hold that choice in your hands.

Ode To Joy #2 - The Power of the Post It

So much for my posting an Ode every day. I had a busy weekend. Oh well. I'm back. I was listening on BYU TV to a fireside by John Bytheway. He was talking about how to be better parents. One of the things he talked about was how we need to praise our children more when they do something good. It is easy for us to say something to them when they are doing something wrong but they need to hear more than that from us. A lot of times we forget to compliment them on things or say, "Thank you for clearing off the table", or "thank you for obeying me the first time". Things like that. He read a story about a mom who left post it notes every day for her daughter that said something nice on them or that thanked her for something she had done. I have been feeling like a lousy horrible mother so I thought that was a great idea. It was something I could get in the habit of doing and it would help me remember to point out all the good things they do each day and help them feel better about themselves. So a few weeks ago I started writing them each a little note on a Post It and sticking it up in their room where they can see it. They love getting them and on the few days I forgot to leave them one, they came to me and said, "where is my note from you?" I went to the store the other day and they really have some cute Post It notes now. I got some that are in the shape of stars and hearts. I am glad I started doing this because it helps me to have to pay more attention and look for the good things that my kids do that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Ode To Joy #1 - i thank you God for most this amazing

I have been having a little bit of a struggle lately dealing with the monotony of day to day life. Since voicing my struggle a while back it seems like everywhere I go or everything I hear is about having joy in your life. I don't believe in coincidences and feel that these things were put on my path of life for a reason. I have learned some amazing things in the past few weeks and I thought I would share them with you. Maybe they can help you with the things you are dealing with in your life. I am going to call it my Ode To Joy series and I will share one thing each day that I have learned that has helped me to find joy in my life. I am calling it Ode To Joy because Beethoven's 9th symphony has always been one of my favorite pieces of music, and the 4th movement entitled "Ode To Joy" has always been my favorite part of that symphony. So for my first Ode To Joy I would like to share a poem that my sister Kristy shared on her blog a while back. Since she shared it I have not been able to get it out of my mind. I think it is a beautiful poem and I decided to memorize it. I have and I find myself repeating it several times a day. It is the first thing I say to myself when I wake up in the morning before I get out of bed. I am so not a morning person and there is something about this poem that wakes me up and excites me about the day that lies ahead. Whenever I start feeling blah about my day I repeat it to myself and somehow it helps me feel better. It makes me realize that each day is AMAZING in it's own way and a is gift to us from our Creator. A gift that needs to be lived and loved and appreciated to it's fullest. The poem is by E E Cummings:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings;and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any - lifted from the no
of all nothing - human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)