Monday Morning Musings - I Want My Two Dollars!

I had a garage sale once. You remember? I said I would NEVER do that again. Well, I did it. Only it wasn't my garage sale. It was my mother's. The good thing about this one was we had a lot of adults to help so the burden wasn't so heavy for one person. And my kids, they loved it. They pretty much ran the whole thing, they kept running up to my mom handing her fist fulls of money. I sat back and was thoroughly entertained by all the crazy people that came by. And when I say crazy, I mean certifiably. Crazy. People.

This one lady. Hoooh! She was a real piece of work. She hung out for about an hour. She made no sense at all when she talked. She started to "faint" when I was standing next to her and I had to yell for someone to bring me a chair. She was leaning on me and I was afraid that if she fell on me I would be crushed and there would be no chance that anyone could lift her off of me. She asked for some water. We gave her some. She saw our box of Krispy Kreme's in the garage that we had for breakfast and asked if she could have one. She took two. Then she asked for a napkin. She bought a big item at the sale and we could have made it fit in her vehicle if she would have let us move things around, but she wouldn't (I think she just wanted to come back to visit us). As she was pulling away she rolled down her window and asked if any of us had a truck or SUV that we could load the thing into and follow her home. We all just stared at her. She asked again. We all said "NO!" at the same time. It was funny 'cause there was no one else there at the sale at the time and Sam's truck was in the side driveway, Steve's truck was in front of the house and Carla, my mom's friend, her SUV was in front of the house. So she came back later that night after everything was cleaned up. She went into the garage and started rooting around. I told her that we didn't have anything left, we had hauled it all of, and the stuff in the garage was NOT for sale. Emily said she saw her take 3 DVD's out of the garage (they had accidentally been put in the sale and we stuck them in there), and sure enough, they were missing when we went out to look. When Steve was helping her load the thing in her car, she started going, "OUCH! MY EYE!" Like the thing had hit her in the eye. She was covering it, crying, and she kept saying "MY EYE!", and then she would look at me. Then she would say it again and look at Steve, trying to get some sympathy from us. We both just stared at her. I don't know what Steve was thinking, but I know what I was thinking: "Shut your drama mouth up, get in the car, drive away, and don't freakin' ever come back!!!". Cer-ti-fi-able.

Steve and I have been reliving the '80's through movies. Two weekends ago, we watched Pretty in Pink. I told him I thought he should start dressing like Duckie. I was being totally serious. That look is back in style now, kind of. He didn't even dignify that request with any kind of acknowledgement. He just pretended like I didn't say anything at all. I think this is a perfectly acceptable look for a 42 year old father of 4/business owner:

Then last weekend we watched Say Anything. I had another suggestion. I told Steve he should come home from work one day and stand in the driveway with a boombox held over his head playing "In Your Eyes". At least he didn't ignore me this time. He said he didn't have a boombox. I said he could use Aubrey's little pink one. He said he didn't think he could hold it above his head for the whole song. I suggested he use an ipod. Then he pretty much started ignoring me.

Next on our list of '80's movies, Better Off Dead. "Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."



While cleaning out my mother's house, I came across my old prom dress. I was shocked at the size. Who knew I was ever that skinny. I think I would be hard pressed to fit my right thigh into that dress today. I showed it to Emily and she said, "Mom, you wore this dress? It is soooo immodest!" Great. She wanted to try it on:

We had a good storm pass through here on Sunday. At one point we saw lightning hit the field out behind our house. The thunder that accompanied it was rather loud. Aubrey said, "Usually I like thunder and lightning because it is pretty to watch, but that last one scared the heck outta me!" After the rain was over, I took this picture:

Back To School

I don't know what was up last night, but I slept better than I have slept in a long time. I don't think I moved all night. When my alarm went off at 6:20 I was so confused. I had no idea where I was, what day it was, or why my alarm was going off while it was still semi dark outside. It took me a couple of minutes of lying there to figure it out. Once I did, I happily jumped out of bed. The long awaited first day of school! I got my little cuties up and out the door. But alas, they shall be home soon. You see, for some reason, today is an early out day. Why on earth they feel the need to make today an early day is beyond me. The only thing I can think of is they are trying to mess with all the moms out there. I can just hear the all powerful school board saying: What? You're excited about you're kids going back to school today? Well watch this, BAM! Early out day! Take that mommas!

Monday Morning Musings - They Call Me Mellow Yellow

Yesterday, I decided that we were going to go on a strict back-to-school routine. We were going to go to bed at normal bedtimes and wake up and get ready and do all our chores before the time that the kids will have to leave for school next week. We seriously need the practice. I tried implementing back-to-school bedtimes last week and it didn't work so well. My kids are too used to staying up late. So after all my determination yesterday, we stayed too late at my moms house, so we went to bed late. Then this morning, I slept until 8:45 and I had to drag my booty outta bed then. It's 10:12 am and I'm still in my PJ's. The kids are still in theirs and they are all in my bed watching TV. OK. So tonight. TONIGHT we are gonna start the back-to-school thing. For reals.

Emily went to work with Steve this morning. Monday morning is usually our time to watch Design Star because it comes on late Sunday night and we record it and watch it first thing Monday morning. I think it's rude she just left me hangin' today.

I have weird kids. Emily's favorite thing to watch on TV is HGTV and Zac's favorite channels are the Military Channel and the History Channel. I won't tell you what my favorite shows were when I was their age.

You wanna know what my dear, sweet Emily said to me the other day?

Emily: Mom, with kids, there is usually one parent who is really nice and fun and plays with the kids. Then there is one parent who is boring and makes the kids work and do chores.

Me: Really?

Emily: Yeah. In our family dad is the fun one who plays with us. You are the one who is boring and makes us do our chores.

Me: Emily, that's really rude.

Emily: I know. I don't really mean it. Sometimes I just say stuff like that so you will have something to put on your blog.

Me: Oh, well, in that case, thanks for the material.

I just thought I would share my status update from Facebook yesterday, for those of you not on FB. Just so you can know how incredibly freaked out I still am about my little visitor last week:

I used to be a brown flush it down, yellow let it mellow kinda gal. You know, trying to save water and all. (hey, if it has to do with saving the environment that makes me ultra hip, so just shut yer trap) But now I'm scared that the TP in the mellow yellow will give anything trying to escape from my toilet leverage. So now I'm a flush it every time kinda gal. Was that too much information?

And after saying something like that, I just wouldn't be me without leaving you with a theme song to accompany the visual:

Greatness

My Grandmother and Aunt Lori have been in town visiting. Yesterday my grandmother's sisters all drove down from Idaho, except for Verdene, who lives here. We had everyone over at our house yesterday for lunch. It was fun to get together with everyone and we all had a fantastic visit. The kids had a fun time figuring out who was their great what and great great who. I still don't think they have it straight. Needless to say, it was a GREAT day.

Lend Me Your Ear

One of the best things about Utah in the summer is all the fruit and veggie stands on the side of the road. And the best thing they peddle at such stands is sweet corn. Mmmm mmmm. I could eat ear after ear, it is so tasty and delicious. This afternoon I was just itchin' for somethin' to do (yeah, right) and I got this idea in my head that I wanted to freeze 96 cobs of corn. Yeah, you heard me. 96. If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it good. So I found a stand that was sellin' corn 4 dozen for $15. I bought me 8 dozen ears of tender summer sweetness. Then I put them there kids of mine to good use shuckin' 'em. I blanched the corn and put it in freezer bags. I found my mother and this website very helpful in knowin' what to do. I put 6 cobs in each bag, enough for a serving for our whole family. So I have 16 servings of corn in my freezer. Oddly enough, that doesn't seem like much. I might have to do more.

WARNING: Don't Pee In The Dark

It is an image that shall forever remain seared in my brain. It will change the way I do my business from here on out. No more casual squatting for me.

I've heard the stories before. On the news. I believe it was my sister-in-law who told me about her neighbor who had a big pet snake that went through their toilet into the sewer pipes and up through another neighbors toilet. My sister Farrah, she once found a frog in her toilet. She said she never turned the light on when she went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but for some reason that night, she did. From that day forth, for many, many years, I always turned the light on in the middle of the night when I had to use the facilities. But alas, I have grown lazy in my old age. And flipping the switch became such a waste of my time. Don't worry though. My eyes have been opened. Oh boy, have they been opened.

This morning, around 5:30 am, I got up to use the potty (that's what you call it when you are a mom). I blindly stumbled into the bathroom and was about lift the lid and do my duty in the dark. But something stopped me. I could hear water dripping. I thought, oh great, something's leaking. I figured it was the valve behind the toilet or something. So I turned the light on. No water. Whew! Then what's that sound? That's when I opened the lid. And found a....a....mouse....swimming for dear life....in my potty. BAHHHHHHHH! I let out a blood curling scream and slammed the lid down. Then I said a little prayer of thanks for the elongated bowl we have. Then I started screaming again. Steve came running into the bathroom for fear that I was being attacked by an intruder. He asked what was wrong and I was like

BAH! THERE'S A MOUSE IN THE TOILET!!!

DOSOMETHINGDOSOMETHING!!!

So he reached over and flushed. Then you know what he did? He opened the lid and, well, did what I went in there to do. Easy for him. He just had to stand there. Mine was a whole different story. It took me several flushes and a lot of anxious staring at the toilet before I got up the courage to...get it over with.

When I was done, Steve was already back in bed. I made him get up and walk through the house with me, my arm through his, flushing all the toilets along the way. We got back in bed, but there was no way I was going back to sleep in any kind of quick fashion. I kept asking Steve questions like:

• What if it comes back up?
• What if it goes into another toilet?
• You know the kids toilets aren't as long as ours, it could maybe get out?
• What if it gets out? And we have a wet mouse running around the house?
• If we have a mouse in our toilet, could we have a mouse in our drinking water pipes?
• Do you hear that? I hear water?
• Do you hear water?
• No, shhh! Listen!

He finally gave up on trying to reassure me and started ignoring my questions. Then he fell asleep. Fine. Be that way.

Let me tell you. I have learned my lesson. Learned it good. I had become too laxed in my squatting. I guess this was the wake up call I needed. Well, believe me, I'm awake.

Surprise Party

Friday was my dear mother's Birthday. We told her we had something going on at our church that night so we wanted to take her out for ice cream that afternoon to celebrate her special day with her. So naturally we took her to Spoon Me. There were no selfish motives involved.

Later that night, Sam and my mom came over to pick Lauren up from my house so they could go out to dinner. That's when we sprang the SURPRISE on her. We had a little ParTAY with her friends.

Kami showed off her skills at balloon making.

Kay & Kami

Allyson (that would be me)

Carla

No, these aren't extra special stretchy balloons. I just kept scrunching up my shoulders making a "oh my gosh that balloon is about to pop" face, waiting for them to pop while they were blowing them up. But they didn't.

The Family: Sam, Steve, Allyson, Zac

Addy, Lauren, Kay, Emily & Aubrey

Girls Night Out

Last night I had the chance to go to dinner with some friends from my old hood. After dinner we went back to Betsy's house for pie and chit chat. I had a great time and it was fun to see everyone again.

Monday Morning Musings - Spoonfection

So Friday, the old man took me out on a date. We stopped to get ice cream at a joint he did the floors at.

Lemmetellyousomething

It has been very hard for me to keep myself from going back there everyday since then. I am starting to salivate right now, thinking about it. Thank goodness it is not located in the general vicinity of where I am located. Or else I would be there everyday. Every. Dang. Day.

It's called Spoon Me and it is so yummy. I about fell over from delicious delirium when we were standing at the counter paying and I took my first bite. It is frozen yogurt, but it is not like any other frozen yogurt I have ever encountered before. I don't even know how to splain it to you. The texture, the right amount of sweetness, the right amount of tartness. You just need to experience it for yourself. Being the Ice Cream Connoisseur that I am, you should trust me on this one.

I brought the spoon home with me because not only was the ice cream perfection, the spoon they give you to eat it with - perfection. Steve made fun of me for taking the spoon, but he is NOT an Ice Cream Connoisseur, and therefore has no idea how important it is that you use the correct spoon when eating ice cream. This spoon, it's like the weight, the texture, everything about it is perfect.

Saturday morning, when I woke up yearning for more Spoon Me, I got online and checked out their website. Here are just a few more things that make this ice cream so perfect. First of all, they come in 3 sizes: Baby, 1/2 Size and Full Size. The baby size is really a good amount. But who goes for baby when for just $1 more you can get a 1/2 size which is a very lovely size and you feel like you are still being good because you are only getting a 1/2 size. For $1 more, you can get the full size which could feed a small family. How nice of them to name the sizes so kindly. If you get the full size, you can just be like, "So, what are you lookin' at? I just got the regular size."

Also, it has no fat, and only 85 calories. I assume the 85 calories is for the baby. Still, for the full size, you are still doing better than eating regular ice cream. And they have really healthy toppings, mostly just fresh fruit. And it says it is "packed with live active cultures, vitamins, minerals, calcium, and all that other good stuff. And for you guilt-ridden types, there’s no artificial anything—flavors, colors or sweeteners. Plus zero table sugar. Zero fat. Zero guilt." It's practically so healthy, you really SHOULD be eating it, just for the health benefits alone.

And they are good for the environment. You can read more about that here. You might notice some damage to the spoon in the picture above. That is because it says this on the website: "Once you’re done eating the yogurt, move on to the spoon (it’s made of corn starch)." So I tried to take a bite out of my spoon. Then I thought, "I am one of those really stupid people that make it necessary to put ridiculous warnings on things". So I stopped trying to eat my spoon.


All I'm sayin' is, I just might go get in the car right now and go get some. And I really think they should pay me to advertise for them. And you might be laughin' at me now, but wait until you have your first bite, spoon and all.

Field Trip Friday - Art and State

On Friday, I took the kids downtown for a Field Trip. First we went to the Museum of Fine Arts, after I found it. Thankfully I had Zac with me and for some reason he knows his way around the University campus and was able to direct me to the proper place. Addison made sure to point out to ALL the patrons in the museum when someone was "naked". It was so echoey in there and she kept yelling, "Momma, She's NAKED!" or "Momma, He's NAKED!"

After we left the museum I tried to find my way to the Utah State Capitol. Thankfully again Zac was with me and he has some sort of inner compass built into him. I unfortunately was built with no such compass. In fact, I don't think I should ever try to drive downtown ever again. My DVD player DID smack me in the head when we were coming down this really steep hill with a curve in it. Here is a picture of the kids at the Capitol:

Rolling down Capitol hill, they did this until they all felt like they needed to puke their guts out: