Sorry. Once again it is Friday, but I am going to pretend it is Thursday. I had a hard time yesterday. At the beginning of the week, I knew exactly what topic I was going to discuss in my Thinkin' Thursday. But as the week has gone on, there is something that just has me all riled up and I couldn't decided if I wanted to discuss it or not. I was not going to be political this week. I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about my Thinkin' Thursday. It's not just about politics. I went back and forth with myself all day yesterday and finally decided what statement I would like to make. Unfortunately by the time I had it all figured out, it was time for me to go see a bunch of Princesses skate around on ice. So here I am now. I have decided to cover the topic in a way that is not political. Deep breath. This song has been going through my head all week:
(hee, hee, hee. I just looked up the song on youtube and found the most perfect video with it)
A certain governor from the state of New York seems to have gotten himself into a little trouble lately. Now I said I wasn't going to be political. Because if I were going to bring politics into it, I would say things like it is interesting that in reporting this "tragedy" the New York times failed to mention until you got all the way down to the 15th paragraph that he is a democrat. Then I would remind you that when a certain senator from Idaho got himself into trouble of the same type, the media was very eager to report the fact that he was a republican. Or I would tell you that when USA today reported the story they never once, not even in captions, mentioned that he was a democrat but, even though the story was about HIM and his problem, they did mention Larry Craig and David Vitter and said that they were republicans. Or, I would say something like I am sick and tired of hearing about what a "Political Tragedy" this was because he had such a promising political career ahead of him, from all of the democratic commentators. Those same commentators who, when a republican holding office commits the same type of crime call for immediate resignation. Or I would quote the liberal political commentator Alan Dershowitz when he said, "I feel that this is an America-only story that we have to put into perspective. You know, big deal! Married man goes to prostitute. In Europe, this wouldn't even make the back pages of the newspaper. It's a uniquely American story. We're uniquely, you know, pandering society and hypocritical society when it comes to sex." Well excuse me Mr. Dershowitz, but we don't live in Europe. We live in the United States of America. And we have laws and rules that govern our society and those laws and rules are what set up apart from other countries.
This is what I am upset about. Our society has certain "defining roles" that we put on men and women. And I am sick and tired of it. Men are characterized as being pigs, out for only one thing. And women are characterized as being mere objects, with only one purpose. Here I am going to quote Mr. Dershowitz once again, "...because men don't use their brains when it comes to something like this. They think with a different part of their body and that part of the body, the -- the level of brains there are no relationship to the level of brains in the skull, unfortunately, and when people think with that organ of the body they make these kinds of really, really terrible mistakes." What??? You know what, that is the most stupid thing I have ever heard. I happen to be married to a very good man. A man of valor and integrity. And never once has he done anything to make me question his character or morals. And I happen to know plenty of other good men too. Is it fair for our society to label men in this way. I think it is very demeaning.
Just as demeaning as it is to women to label them in the way society does. Look around. It doesn't take long for you to see exactly how our society depicts women. And this whole thing with Spitzer just enforces it.
And what is up with his wife? And not just his wife, but other wives of politicians who have stood in front of the world with their husbands while they spit in their faces and trampled all over them and humiliated them in the worst possible way. What kind of message does that send to women and young girls? "Men are pigs, honey. That's just the way it is. And it is your duty as the woman to love him in spite of it. You love and support him, bear and raise his children, and then let him find some 20 something little toy and let him use her too, because she has her own special set of problems, and then then you stand right there beside him and smile and act like it aint no big thang."
This is the problem with our society. The more we see this, the more normal it becomes. We are lead to believe that this is normal and this is the way life works. But it's not. IT'S NOT!
I belong to The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In 1995, 13 years ago, the First Presidency of my church put out a statement entitled "The Family: A Proclamation To The World". You can click on the title to read it in it's entirety. I find it very interesting that the Proclamation came out when it did. Things have changed drastically in our world in the 13 years since it was issued and I believe it was divinely inspired for our day and time. The last two paragraphs in the proclamation read:
"We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. "
I think that says it all. I don't want to get political now, but.....well, just think about it.
18 comments:
I must say it does disturb me a little when I see their wives standing next to them. I may be a bit cold hearted, but I don't think I would be standing there.
True that, Ashley! I have another point to bring up...Why are only the woman prosecuted and not the offending men???? huh they were willing in every way.
I know the only reason the wives stand by them is because that is what their advisors tell them they have to do. "If you stand by him, everyone else will think it's not so bad, maybe it will blow over, everyone else will feel compelled to stand by him too." That is why I think it sends such a bad message to women. And men. It makes it see like it's not so bad.
And who keeps saying something on my Thinkin' Thursday's and deleting it? I'm gonna have to call you a chicken if you do it again. You can tell me your opinion.
Ally- FINALLY!
The truth about the media is you can find the slant both ways. It depends on what you are looking for and whom you are listening too.
I read a NY Times article also that right off the bat mentioned he was a democrat (I have heard it over and over again) and also that stated leading Republicans are calling for him to step down. Quite the same as you mentioned with what happened with Senator Craig. Again- you will find it both ways. My point is, who cares what party they are associated with. They are scumbags.
You have passionate extremist on both sides that say stupid things like what Alan Dershowitz said. What a dumb thing to say! You can find some idiotic things conservatives have said in situations like this too. Stupidity and ignorance cross both party lines.
Any ways, about the women standing by their husbands. I have to say it is already humiliating to have to deal with that type of thing privately, but to have the entire world watching you deal with it would be excruciating- I'm sure.
I think it is rude and insensitive of the husbands to ask that of their wives (they were rude and insensitive in the first place to do what they did) to be up there with them.
My guess most of these woman (I watched McGreevey's wife on Oprah say this) still love their husbands (you don’t just stop loving someone because they did something horrible to you), they have children with them, they have stood by them through so many things already, why not this- it doesn't mean they have to stay with them in the end? I don't really know. I don't think any of us could presume to know, unless it has happened to us, what types of things are going through your mind at that time. I am sure they are still in shock and can’t think straight.
I truly hope that the media will be able to give them some privacy to deal with this horrible situation as a couple. I know he is a public figure and whatever needs to happen should happen- he did something illegal after all, but his wife at least deserves some privacy to decide if her marriage is worth saving or if she needs to leave the scumbag.
For me, I won't judge her if she stays or goes. I have no idea what their marriage is like, so I will stay out of that argument.
Of course you can find the slant both ways but in mainstream media, which is where most Americans get their news, it is extremely slanted to the left.
Of course they have started being more upfront about his party after being called on it. You have to agree that is pretty shoddy reporting on the side of USA today. If you look up the article online, they have changed it, but when it first came out in print it was exactly how I said it was. USA Today. It's not like it was the National Enquirer or Po Dunk Monthly Newsletter. It was a major national newspaper.
You would never find a republican saying that we need to overlook prostitution in the United States. Nor would you find them supporting a political figure who did something like this. Republicans wanted Craig to step down too. And his crime was not even close to this one.
What bothers me is all the democrats bemoaning the loss of his CAREER, they don't seem to care about the fact that he is a slimeball and that he has destroyed his family.
And just to be clear, when I say all the democrats, I am not talking about people like you, because I know you think he is a slimeball too, but I am talking about the ones you see on the news. The ones that all other American's are getting their news from. The ones that are trying to normalize this in the publics eye. That was my whole point with bringing up the Family Proclamation. We need leaders who will abhor this type of thing. Not try to dumb it down.
I am offended you called me a democrat, because I am not one. I know you people think I am, but I am not. But don't mistake me for a republican either.
Well, you've never said what you are, so what do you expect us to think?
And it offended me that you called me "you people". What does that mean? :)
You people- as in you people. Isn't that clear?
Ally- I meant to say that this is why I do not base my opinions on what news commentators say.
And I think the print media is slanted towards the audience they are writing to.
Also, both Senator Craig and Senator Vitter are STILL in office after both of their sex scandels.
I am glad you don't base your opinions on what news commentators say. I don't think anyone should. That doesn't mean people don't though.
It is a proven fact that when something is repeated over and over again, the person hearing it starts to believe it. Example, if you tell a child they are stupid enough times, they will think they are stupid.
That is the point I was trying to make with this whole thing. Women and men are portrayed a certain way in our society over and over again, and after time, people start to believe it is true. That is why there are so many young women today with such low self esteem and with eating disorders. They see images of women everywhere they look telling them this is how it should be. The same is true for men. That is why Dershowitz can make a statement like he did and people can laugh and say, well it's true, that is how men think.
So when normal people turn on their TV or open their newspaper to get a fair, unbiased report on the world around them and they get a slanted report, they are not always aware that it is slanted. After hearing something over and over again, they start to believe it.
I can understand if they are watching or reading Liberal's Monthly or Conserative's Weekly, but national news or national newspapers should not have slanty reporting.
When I looked up Journalism ethics I found a whole bunch of stuff about how journalists should report the news ethically. This is a quote that sums it up the best. It is from wikipedia:
"While various existing codes have some differences, most share common elements including the principles of — truthfulness, accuracy, objectivity, impartiality, fairness and public accountability — as these apply to the acquisition of newsworthy information and its subsequent reportage to the public"
And I hope that you aren't taking any of this personally, because I'm not. You are my sister and I love you. Even if we have different opinions.
Allyson- No trust me, I am not taking any of this personally.
Dershowitz is not mainstream media. He is known liberal commentator. If people take his views to be mainstream, they are pretty misinformed.
And the USA today article you mentioned didn't mislead the public by leaving out that he was a democrat. Like I said, who cares what party he is affliated with. But they have corrected themselves, they should have stated in the first article since they noted Craig and Vitter as republican.
I completely agree with you on how woman and men are portrayed in the media and it has NOTHING to do with politics.
And what about Craig and Vitter being in office still. If republicans are truly the party of family values, than why haven't they been forced to step down?
Oh my goodness. I don't think you are actually listening to what I am saying.
I said Dershowitz was a liberal commentator. I never said he was mainstream media.
Do you honestly think it was accidenatly left out of USA today? How many times do you think it was proof read before it went to print. Whoever wrote it probably had it in there and was told to take it out.
I NEVER said the way men and women are protrayed has ANYTHING to do with politics. For heaven sakes Farrah, go back and read what I wrote!
Craig and Vitter, what they did, was nothing compared to what Spitzer did.
Do you think anybody else is going back and reading this? Are we the only ones that haven't moved on?
Ally do you even know what Vitter did?! He basically admitted to patronizing and paying for sex at a brothel? How is that not as bad? Read here: he paid for sex with a prostitute.
Craig was arrested for lewd conduct. Read here: he was propositioning a person for anonymous male-male sex in a public restroom.
That is hypocrisy in my book to say it is not as bad. Who is the one to that gets to draw where the moral line is here? My goodness! Again, I don't care which party they are from, that is why I had said about the USA Today article. For me, it doesn't matter. Who cares? They are all married men, all public figures, all who have been caught doing something illegal and morally wrong.
I never said they accidentally left it out of the USA article. All I was saying is the person that did it got called on the carpet, the paper fixed the mistake and really is it that big of a deal?
I am listening, but the points you are making aren't very clear. You are the one who made this a political thing. If the point you were really trying to make is how men and woman are portrayed in the media, than why all the political stuff? Why the calling out of the one liberal commentator and what he said?
How about the way some far right commentators have commented on african american woman and their hair or the sexist comments they have made? I can really go and find them if you want me to?
Don't you think that is degrading to women? My point at the beginning of this whole debate was that stupidity and ignorance cross both party lines. You have extremist on both sides who say stupid things. It doesn't mean that is an accurate portrayal of how either party really feels.
That is what I am saying. If you truly meant it to be about degradation of men and woman, well, I think you missed your mark.
Farrah, sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I have been very busy.
You are right. I had no right to try and draw the moral line. What they all did was wrong. I agree with you. There is a difference though. Vitter's phone # was found in a "madam's" phone book. When asked about it he said that several years ago he did make a mistake and has talked about it in counseling with his wife and his minister and that they worked it out and it was something in his past. Yes it was wrong, but if we went around and pulled everyone out of office who had done something wrong in their past we would have a lot of empty offices (come to think of it, that probably wouldn't be a bad thing). As for my thinking on Craig, yes he did proposition someone but we have no proof that he has ever gone through with a proposition. Again, you were right. I have no right to make that moral call.
My thinkin' thursday was full of a lot of different thoughts. I started the whole thing as a way to throw different thoughts and opinions out there and give people something to think about. I am sorry if you feel that I wasn't being clear.
I agree that there are stupid people who say stupid things on both sides. I never said there wasn't. If I had been doing a post about say, basketball, or maybe about racism, I probably would have used the quote you were referring to. But instead I chose to use a quote that was directly related to the topic I was discussing at the time.
What really bothers me is that you are brushing off the USA today incident like it is no big deal. YES! It is a big deal! If the American people cannot turn on their TV or open their newspapers and get a FAIR, UNBIASED report on the things that are going on around them, that IS a problem.
I will refer you to the comment of mine where I said that when people hear something over and over again they start to believe it as the truth. When people are reporting their version or their opinion of the truth, that is very damaging and it is very unfair. People (I'm not saying everyone) but people believe what they hear on TV and what they read in the newspaper. If they are looking to a reliable news source for the truth and they don't get it, that is not ethical on behalf of major news sources.
It is quite obvious that you and I are not going to back down from our opinions and frankly I am getting tired of arguing the same thing so I am finished. I am giving you the last word if you want it.
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